I think we buy into a few myths about adulthood. As young adults we tend to feel lost, insecure, and unsure about most of our decisions. Its something we hear a lot about. The fun of being young and in our twenties. However, we feel the need to have everything figured out. Many folks have a rush of anxiety when they start thinking about the future and their own life circumstances.
We start comparing ourselves with other people. We see their accomplishments and wonder why aren’t we yielding their results. You may even think “What am I do wrong?”. And then the anxiety from comparison kicks in and you find yourself in a puddle of self doubt.
Comparing yourself to other people has to stop. Putting yourself in a box that was built by others is not healthy. Your success should not be determined by a number, another person, or status. Your success should be determined by you.
Comparison is only effective if you find someone you want to use as a role model. You can emulate their example while forging your own path. Comparison should not be used as a tool for your own personal destruction.
It is important to have goals. Set those goals. Weave them into a brilliant life plan for yourself. Live your aspirations and know how you plan to achieve them. Involve yourself in productive activities that will allow for those goals to occur.
Here are a few things to know about life goals.
!.) They are great to have. They give you direction.
2.) They typically never happen the way you plan for them too and they can change with each passing year you are on earth.
3.) For the most part, the things you want now will not be the same things you want in five years. We change as we mature.
4.) Your goals and your ability to accomplish them is not a measuring tool for your self worth.
Also, you may have an idea that keeps coming back to you. Occasionally, you will catch yourself thinking about it and will quickly dismiss it. However, you’ll find over the years its always in the back of your mind. Do it. Don’t ignore it. There is a reason why it keeps emerging from the inner parts of your brain.
This idea could be making a huge life decision, moving across the country, starting school, finding a new career, or getting into a new hobby.
Those ideas are scary and can provoke anxiety. However, change can be a great thing and those kinds of changes can pay off with huge results.
A few things to remember the next time you feel insecure and incapable.
You will never feel like you have it all figured out. And if you do I suggest you reevaluate your life. You can and should totally feel positive about the direction your life is going in but that doesn’t mean you have it all figured out.
Adults of all ages struggle with the feeling of insecurity and the direction of their life. Accept it now and it can save you some heartache later.
Also, adults never feel like adults. There are certainly times in your life when you feel mature and recognize the responsibility you have. But if you ask any person older than you how old do they feel most people will say young or at least the do not feel their age.
I had this thought the other day. I’m 24 and in my head I still catch myself thinking I’m 20. I took a quick survey of the older adults in my life and they affirmed that they also did not feel their age. They felt younger than they actually are. I would imagine that is probably across the board with most adults.
I think its important to remember there isn’t one singular event that’s going to happen that makes us feel like an adult. Usually, it is a lot of little milestones combined over a period of time. Then we wake up one morning and realize we are a self sufficient productive member of society. Cool.
To recap, life goals are important to have and we should all be working towards something. An aimless life isn’t ideal. However, you shouldn’t beat yourself over the head with those goals. Readjust your time line if you must but remember you have all the time to fulfill them until you run out of time. But work towards them.
Don’t compare yourself to others. Your circumstances are vastly different from other people’s. Just because you share the same age doesn’t mean life happens at the same rate. If it doesn’t there isn’t anything that is wrong with that. After all they aren’t living with your life. They have their own.
Being flexible on those goals is vital as well. Again, things rarely work out the way you plan for them to, so plan B is important.
And if you are waiting for that big moment that ushers you into adulthood, you will probably be waiting for some time. Enjoy life but live up to your responsibilities.
If you keep revisiting an idea that excites you and terrifies you at the same time, seriously consider it. A big change is sometimes exactly what we need.
Everyone deals with feelings of insecurity, being lost, and uncertainty of their life decisions. Its normal. The trick is to not let them control you. Take time to examine your life. If you aren’t where you want to be take the necessary steps to make that change. Change is healthy. It can lead us to amazing, unexpected, and perfect places in our lives. Don’t be afraid to leap out of your comfort zone. It could be the best decision you make.
This in itself is humbling.
http://t.co/aRjLmkmdN4 (Inspiration for this blog)